Told my boyfriend that he doesn’t know everything about me yet. He wasn’t really happy that I said it, but it’s the truth. There are a lot of things that he doesn’t know about me, but it’s not his fault. It’s not that I don’t want to open up to him. It’s just that I’m an extremely guarded person for protection purposes. I don’t tell people my thoughts, my emotions, etc. because I don’t want myself to be vulnerable and to eventually be taken advantage of. 

In essence, I’m scared. I’m scared of letting someone into my life and seeing all of me unedited and uncensored. I feel like most of my reasoning for putting up such a huge wall is because of experiences I’ve had in the past. I let someone in and somehow someway I get hurt. My boyfriend told me it was kind of unfair that he gives me everything of him and I only give him a fraction of me. 

He’s right though. It’s not fair that he’s paying for other people’s mistakes. It’s not fair that I don’t let him in as much as I should. One day he’ll know everything. It just takes time and trust.

(via frozenn-and-cant-breathe)